The purpose of being a parent is to be there for your child but how can a working parent be there for every beck and call?
I have realised the difficulty of trying to always be there for Maisie when I have had a full day of work. Trying to have the energy to play with her when she is still a bundle of excitement when I am lethargic and tired. Trying to take the day off work if she is sick at the last minute. Trying to not miss her first moments while she is at nursery and I am at work which you will never know. Trying to have a weekend full to spend quality time with her even though my guilt plays over when all I want to do is put my feet up and relax. Trying to keep the house today even though Maisie unintentionally destroys it 2 seconds later because she finds it fun and me not loose my mind. Trying to be there for my partner when I don’t even feel like I can be there for myself. Trying to dedicate my time to my job to make sure I am doing the best I can for my team and company even though being a mum can start my day absolutely knackered but have to act focused and positive. Trying to fit in the gym and eat healthily so I can be a positive role model for Maisie and to improve my feelings towards my body which I have lost.
All these things you have to juggle as a working parent and it is hard. VERY HARD. The other hardship as well is you can’t run away. Even on your lowest day, your day is planned around making sure your child is happy. I sometimes forget that I need to be happy too. I forget about myself because I don’t see myself as a priority. How can I be a good influence to Maisie if I cannot show her my own happiness?
I came to the conclusion that if I am trying, it shows I care. The fact I am working shows I want the best for her life. The fact I am going to the gym and eating well shows I want to be around for her whole life. The fact that I support and try with my other half shows her stability which I want her to have.
I am allowed low days, I am allowed to feel drained. I am allowed to wonder if I am a good mother. It shows that I care and that putting this amount of time and effort into everything, from work to being a mother, is proving that.
When I come home drained, I now think, wow I have had an eventful day and try to stick with the positives because my old attitude just was pulling me down.
Parents are expected to know the answers to everything yet I learn something new everyday being one. When you look at your own parents, I think how the hell did they manage to cope? I mean my parents had 4 and moved to many countries and we are all sane, normal humans!
If you stay at home, looking after your child, it is tough and I couldn’t imagine it because sometimes I feel trapped and I only do it for a week or a little bit more if we are on holiday. The luxury you do have though is you are more in control and get to a full part of their lives which I do get jealous about, watching other mother’s do it.
We all have it test us to our limits but I need to remember that I am raising a human, that I carried for 9 months. An achievement me and her daddy created!
Keep it going you tough cookies!