9 months as a home time mother and I have decided to return to work! Could it have gone as easy as I had believed it would? NO. Not in a million years
My first week back and Maisie got sick, the worst she has ever been. My first day back, and all I did was worry. After my day had finished, we took her to the doctors and they said everything was fine but she wasn’t well enough to take her to nursery. Matt had to stay home Tuesday and Wednesday so whilst me returning to work, I had a sick baby at home I couldn’t take care of. It was horrible. Don’t get me wrong, I loved going back to work to have adult conversations again and feeling a little more like myself but with Maisie being sick, it didn’t help with me feeling like getting back into the swing of things.
To make things worse, Maisie’s nursery decided they were going to shut early on Thursday so due to Matt already taking two days off because she was ill, I had to leave work early, which I felt extremely guilt of since I had only just started that week.
To add to our terrible week, on Friday myself and Matt unfortunately both got struck down with some sort of virus where I was sick all day at work but I felt so guilty from missing part of the day before, I tried my hardest to stay for the day whilst throwing up in the bathroom and pretending I was alright. I had to leave an hour early as well because I couldn’t cope which I will take up for on Monday.
NOT A GOOD WEEK
I thought returning back to work would be easy, but everything really does change. Maisie is eating new food at nursery which is great but I feel jealous I didn’t get to introduce her to those new foods. Her routine is changing due to nursery having a different routine, so we are confused sometimes when Maisie wants to eat and nap. Being at work, it feels like we have two different lives from what is was when it was just me and Maisie. IT HAS ONLY BEEN ONE WEEK! I know it is all down to adapting and settling in, so maybe it is still early nerves, but I love being back at work but I feel guilty for feeling that way. This week especially didn’t help when Maisie was ill and I wasn’t there to care for her.
Working mothers have it tough as well, because we want to be the best housewife at the same time. At the moment, because I am now working the morning shift to be able to pick Maisie up from nursery, Matt now gets up in the night if Maisie needs a feed as it is normally when I am getting up for work. I feel so bad for him though, because he also has to work but because I am earlier, he wanted too. Luckily, Maisie is good in the night so it isn’t a massive issue but still. Also, cleaning the house, we now have to work out a routine instead of me just doing it daily because of us both being at work… These little things you don’t think of but now I am back at work, it is changing how we have to do everything for Maisie and around the house.
I am sure I will keep you updated with new changes and how me working will continue to change our daily routine. My mother was an amazing housewife so I didn’t have the advice of how to handle returning to work but I will keep going as I want to give Maisie the best opportunities is life. The separation between a mother and child is tough however I hope Maisie realises it is all for her.